LOS ANGELES — The Los Angeles Clippers are set to acquire center Dwight Howard from the Orlando Magic for Chris Kaman and two first round picks. The deal is pending league approval. Clippers infamous general manager and beloved ex coach Mike Dunleavy described the trade as follows: ” YES YES YES CLIPPER NATION GOING TO THE TOP B******, WERE GONNA FINALLY BE THE KINGS OF LA ! ” Magic coach Stan Van Gundy says that Kaman brings versatility to the team that loves to take threes and was intrigued of the possibility of bringing Kaman in. Van Gundy said ” Well you know he’s an allstar this year and since he’s white that means threes baby and you know we love threes. We’ve also been sick of Dwight’s incessant complaints for shots and inability to shoot worth a damn as well as his love affair with that fattass Barkley.” One western conference executive described the trade as: ” It’s definitely the apocalypse. I mean seriously the Clippers are going to be good for once? Ha, Dwight will probably tear both ACL’s before ever suiting up a game for them knowing their luck.” Dwight declined comment and was reported seen crying burning his Magic jerseys.