Breaking News: Mayor Bloomberg confirms school is closed from Nov.8-Nov.21

November 8, 2012   ·   No Comments   ·   By

In what is described as a disaster, Bloomberg decides school will be closed for the next two weeks. “My kid is terrified by what’s coming next, she kept saying sandy is coming to get her and now this” says 44 yr. old mother Alice Goldstein, resident of Bay Ridge section of Brooklyn. Mayor Bloomberg in the conference seemed stunned as he announced such an event. “In all.. all of my years I have never seen such destruction back to back of this magnitude”. He was reportedly seen sobbing while everyone gathered around him to give him a big hug. The weatherman says to stay in and locked all doors and windows, there’s a big storm coming through.

Stoudemire Fights Fire Escape

November 8, 2012   ·   No Comments   ·   By

How ya doin ovuh dere

Elijah Hasnain is a loser says Michael Jordan

November 8, 2012   ·   No Comments   ·   By

“He’s a loser.. that is all ” says Michael Jordan in disgust as he see’s him walking around.”He’s a pathetic 1st grader who only wants to play games, this generation is going down the drain”. Michael Jordan then proceeded to cry by himself on the edge of the Verrazano Bridge.

Lakers get Bosh

November 8, 2012   ·   No Comments   ·   By

The Los Angeles Lakers, in a stunning move, traded Pau Gasol and Darius Morris for Chris Bosh of the Miami Heat.

mc going outgg

November 8, 2012   ·   No Comments   ·   By



November 8, 2012   ·   No Comments   ·   By

The music you hear before and after a commercial break, during an NBA game, just got a little grimier. “We’re excited about the opportunity”, says Manny D (co-owner of JAM3 Productions, along with DJ Mr. President, his brother and long-time business partner). The League decided they wanted the music to hit a little harder, much like a Tyson Chandler blocked shot, so they decided to reach out to the brothers, who originally hail from the birthplace of their genre, Hip Hop. The production duo has signed on for one year, with a possible extension, and other NBA amenities.

First Bukharian Player Joins NBA

November 8, 2012   ·   No Comments   ·   By

The first Bukharian player to be on an NBA team has finally arrived. Johnny Takadishov has been signed by the Brooklyn Nets, filling their last roster spot.

When asked about how he felt about being the first Bukharian player to be on an NBA team Takadishov replied “I’m just trying to play hard belat and I will be there for my braaaats.”

Takadishov has also recently been signed by Jacob and Co. on a one year endorsement deal.

Marc Gasol out indefinately after tea time incident

November 8, 2012   ·   No Comments   ·   By

It appears NBA superstar Marc Gasol will miss the rest of the 2012-2013 NBA season due to an odd neurological disorder which has developed rendering him motionless. Poison has not been ruled out.

Tupac is Alive!

November 7, 2012   ·   No Comments   ·   By

He has come from hiding after 16 years of his phony death…

Miami Heat admit they cheated

November 7, 2012   ·   No Comments   ·   By


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